August is the month of Obon in Japan. The whole country welcomes the "Bon holiday", and the crowds of people who return to their hometowns to worship their ancestors and those who travel abroad are divided into two groups. My partner and I, who were traveling in a foreign country, felt that staying at home was not a good idea, so we also turned on our mobile phones to check the flight information. Other places are prohibitively expensive, except for a northern city where it is still feasible if you take a connecting flight. Then it was decided to make Vladivostok-Vladivostok the purpose of the trip.

In recent years, there have been more and more opportunities to travel, and it has become much easier to decide on a travel itinerary. Last time my mother sent a message asking me what I was doing at the moment. I said I was traveling. The other end immediately showed an anxious atmosphere, and the mother said: Son, can you build a good family first and then travel around the world? After hearing this, I immediately reacted impatiently: I can do whatever I want. It seemed like a well-established drama, with the lines coming straight and without any hesitation. Then my mother said: You should also think about me.

My understanding of Vladivostok comes from the year-round ice-free port in the Far East in my junior high school geography textbook. Although I later learned that it is still frozen for four months out of the year, it can only rely on icebreakers to maintain navigation. I felt like I was in shock after being deceived. I couldn’t believe that one third of the year was frozen and I dared to call it an ice-free port...

Vladivostok Airport is like a huge glass box. The temperature difference is too obvious when you get off the plane. Even in the hottest months of summer in the northern hemisphere, a thin T-shirt seems too out of place here. The driver who picked us up spoke good English, but he told us that he didn’t speak much English here. It’s about an hour’s drive from the airport to the city. To kill the boredom, I started chatting with the driver. I asked him how to say some daily greetings in Russian. Even though he repeated almost all of the content two or three times, I still couldn't repeat it and could only giggle awkwardly. Until he said, When you want to say goodbye to someone, you can say: До свидания (Darth Vidania).

My eyes lit up, as if this Russian word triggered some memory.

"The lonely ghosts in the world, the ship that will never wait, let me sink into the night, Baby До свидания..." This song automatically started playing in my mind, and the night of this Russian Far East city seemed to be giving me a The trip set a less than clear tone.

It became clear to me the next morning that the lack of clarity was palpable. Because the sky in the early morning was as gloomy as the bottom of a turbid lake, I stuck my head out of the balcony. The buildings outside were covered with a layer of gray. The eye-catching onion dome of the Orthodox church not far away also looked more solemn and solemn. feel. Well it doesn’t matter, maybe this is the tone this city should have.

We registered a local tour group on Airbnb. In addition to us, there were two groups of companions in the group. One group is a couple from Korea, Hohyun and Eunbi. There is also a Japanese couple, Masami and her Indian husband. What makes us happy is that we are two Chinese, and we happen to know a little bit of Japanese and Korean, so we seem to be very harmonious in this team. The name of the team leader is Yura, a local college student in Vladivostok. He is only 21 years old and has a shy smile. When I was greeting the people in the group, I saw me shrinking into a Changbai Mountain ginseng in short sleeves. Yura asked me, didn’t you bring a jacket? I said, it was extremely hot where we came, so we only brought sunscreen. Sister Eunbi told us that there is a department store nearby where we can go to buy clothes. The clothes they were wearing were just bought yesterday. Yura reluctantly took out a coat from the trunk and handed it to me. It was the school uniform he wore during class.

After I put on the school uniform of the fighting nation, I took a few selfies against the strong wind on the cape, until Eunbi’s sister said “Hey, I’m here!”

The rocky headlands are also carved by the sea breeze, and the sea breeze is also carving the headlands, but what I feel here is different from that in Jeju Island or Kenting. The sea breeze in Jeju Island is sad and shrill, like the tragedy of the survivors, the sea breeze in Kenting is gentle, catalyzing the growth of all things, and the sea breeze in Vladivostok carries a lonely low echo, like a tune blown by a silent sentinel. A harmonica song. Yura told us that the direction he was facing was Russia, but the direction he was pointing to with his left hand was China, and the direction he was pointing to with his right hand was North Korea.

Perhaps it is the unique geographical location that makes this city bear too much loneliness. I remembered that when I went to the Vladivostok Railway Station to store my luggage in the morning, I saw the freight cars coming from far away Eastern Europe along the Trans-Siberian Railway. The Vladivostok Railway Station, which was watching over the end, made a brief stop at the same time every day. The train sent me on the long journey home. It is like a lonely lighthouse, like the sunken ship with "thousands of sails passing by its side."

This lighthouse embodies the Tokarev Lighthouse standing at the entrance to the port of Vladivostok. When visiting the most famous lighthouse in the Far East, the hazy sky splashed gray rain from time to time, mixing with the surrounding waves, while the white lighthouse seemed to stand in the middle of the sea at the end of the world. The last scene of "July and Ansheng" was shot here. It is the end of wandering for those who defect from their fate.

I stared at the lighthouse in a daze for a while, recalling the story of July and Ansheng. After the tense quarrel, the warm and knowing embrace, scenes from the movie flashed before my eyes. I think of my own youth. Although it was not as turbulent as shown in the movie, there were still a few pages that were soaked by the coldest rain in the lushest summer.

Returning to the B&B in the evening, I was alone on the sofa thinking about things. Think about the past and the future, your family of origin and the possible reborn families in the future.

Thinking of the message my mother sent me last time. When referring to her, I sometimes say "my mother" and sometimes "mother", depending on the context of the sentence. My mother has left many imprints on me: She is a complex person, she is also a straightforward person, she is a person who grits her teeth and lives her life, but she is not a weak person.

Thinking of the phrase "Darth Vidania" that the driver taught me yesterday, I also thought of the two most memorable partings with my mother. One time was when I left home for the first time to go to college in Hangzhou. I stared at her figure for the first time at the train station until my line of sight was cut off by the escalator. The second time was after I came to Japan. She came to see me during the Spring Festival. The last thing she said to me at the end of the trip was, "You should eat more to see how thin you are! " I had no time to reply. The car drove away.

I was rebellious countless times during adolescence. When I grew up, I would resolutely run away whenever I had the chance. And the mother didn't know what to do when faced with this heartless child like her. Resentment and sadness also formed the background of her long years.

The third day was all free time, walking along the central avenue of Vladivostok to Victory Square. The Far East Soviet Soldiers Monument stands on the square. This monument was built to commemorate the February Revolution and the October Revolution. Many cities have such monuments to remind people not to forget a certain period of hardship. There is a group of adults and aunts in the square. The young female tour guide with blond hair and blue eyes speaks Chinese fluently. The pigeons in the square welcome the arrival of the uncles and aunties, happily perching on their shoulders and arms.

After explaining the monument and the municipal building on the west side of it, the tour guide said that there is a three-story souvenir shop on the east side of the square, and you can go there to buy some souvenirs. But most of the adults were indifferent and continued to play with the pigeons. Grandpas and aunts in 2019 have begun to learn to turn a deaf ear to tour guides’ consumption inducements. But my companion and I caught this information, so we decided to go to the souvenir shop.

There are all kinds of Russian matryoshka dolls in the souvenir shop, as well as military weapon models that show the style of their fighting nation, etc. I saw a music box modeled after the famous St. Basil's Cathedral on Moscow's Red Square. After unscrewing the spring, it sang the Soviet folk song "Katyusha". I liked this music box so much that I decided to buy it.

The three-day journey ended, and we bid farewell to another ordinary day with the Golden Horn Bridge without sunset. Night fell soon after, and the city was already devoid of fireworks, and it was even worse under the clouds. But in this way, it is consistent with my impression of it before visiting. In my previous impression, when I mentioned Russia and the Far East, I would think of the Soviet Union, Ignatius, the turbulent years, the end of the road, and loneliness...

Maybe I am such a pessimistic person. Many people say that if you don’t understand some of your characteristics as an adult, you should look for answers from your family of origin. I thought about it day and night for a while, racing down this road as if the accelerator was pushed to the end, eager to get an answer. But I don’t think about it now. Whether or not there is an answer is no longer important.

Speaking of the past and the future, I will say: In the past my life was full of suffering, but now it is getting brighter.

Or you can also say: Once our days were full of suffering, but now they are getting brighter.

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