"The sadness of a journey"
Text | Fish Eggs

Miscellaneous Notes

01

 

 

The murderous incident was the name I named the incident when I was angry and speechless.

It was a bit sentimental, but when the journey was over and I thought about recording it again, I felt that the name was a bit too much. But let’s leave it at that.

 

The incident happened in Langmusi Town. The girl I was traveling with had a high fever. When I got up early, I accompanied her to a nearby small clinic. The clinic was only about 100 meters away. On the way from the hotel to the clinic, there were almost all monks along the street. In their robes, older monks gathered around and chatted.

Several young monks were sharing the spicy strips in their hands in the middle of the road.

 

One of the little monks had a sticky nose with runny nose. When he saw them eating spicy strips, he thought to himself, A child is still a child after all. Even if he is wearing a monk's robe, he still has the same runny nose inside his body. A child eating spicy strips.

 

The clinic is a Tibetan medicine clinic and only accepts Tibetans, so we turned back to the hotel and waited for Teacher Chang to drive to a larger hospital. As the car passed through the alley, I met the little monk with a runny nose standing on the side of the road again. I turned around and looked out the window in the back seat. I didn't even have time to react. I saw the little monk glance at me fiercely and give me a cocky look. Raised the middle finger.

 

I looked shocked and at a loss. As the car drove past him, I sighed repeatedly. I couldn't think of anything I had done to offend him. I couldn't figure it out, and I felt sad and angry.

 

But he is a child after all, right? Although he was sighing and indignant, after he came out of the hospital and went to Langmusi, this matter was temporarily forgotten.

02

 

At noon, I came out of the temple and found a restaurant on the main road of the town. The heart-breaking part of the "Murder and Heart-killing" incident came

 

At the window seat of the hotel, two little girls walked outside the glass. They wandered around a few times to test, staring at me with their big eyes blinking. After a while, they pointed at my hat (I was wearing a fox wool felt hat that day). The hat is really conspicuous).

 

The two little girls just walked back and forth, smiling and pressing their faces against the glass, and then quickly escaped the moment we turned our heads. After a while, you pushed me and I pushed you, appearing in front of the glass.

 

One of the little girls had big and bright eyes, an oval face, and was extremely beautiful. I shook my head and smiled at them. Interact with them through the glass. The little girl is so beautiful that you can ignore the little snot hanging under her nose.

 

Teacher Chang and I discussed whether we should go out and take a Polaroid for them and give it to them.

 

Seeing us getting up to go out, they both cheered and were extremely shy. They seemed to be about to run away, but when I was standing at the door of the hotel, they rushed towards me, hugged me and called me "sister".

 

I was melted instantly. He leaned over and asked them: Do you like this hat? Can I put it on for you and take a photo for you to send to you? Photos are the kind that you can take away once you take them~

 

The big-eyed girl nodded happily, hugged me again and said, "Sister, I want to shoot with you."

 

I put the hat on her head, leaned over and stood side by side with her, and the Polaroid photo paper popped out with a click. The other little girl was a bit shy in comparison. After pushing her for a long time, she also took a picture. With the photo in their hands, they started running happily again.

 

When we returned to the dinner table, they still didn't leave. They were running more happily at the door, apparently wanting to enter the restaurant. Without waiting for me to wave, they walked through the door like little mice, slipped in, and sat at our dining table, pointing to the food on the table and shouting the names of the meals.

 

I think they are hungry, but we are still waiting for another partner. Although we know their intentions in our hearts, we dare not follow their words.

 

The little girl slowly put away her previous shyness and began to comment on our appearance. She also asked whether we had boyfriends and girlfriends. Her laughter and talking became louder and louder. I was worried that it would have a bad impact. , he took the two girls to the door and sat on the roadside chatting.

 

"We haven't eaten, not even breakfast. Can we eat with you?"

"No, because we are still waiting for a sister to come. If I am eating alone, I can take you with me, but now it is a meal for four people, so it is not convenient. Why don't you go home to eat?"

 

"We have no one at home, no one to cook"

 

"Can you call this number?" One of the little girls took out a piece of paper from her pocket with a series of numbers on it. Her coat was dirty, with stains everywhere.

 

"Whose number is this?" I asked

 

"She's from a burger restaurant, can you call her?"

 

"What are you calling for?"

 

"Just call her and ask her what she's doing."

 

Of course I know they want to eat hamburgers, but I am rejecting them, rejecting a state of being tied up, rejecting the state of them being as tempting as a seasoned veteran. I declined to call the burger place and gave an explanation. The note taken out of her pocket did not look like it had been deposited by accident.

 

"Let me buy you some bread to eat. Is there a small shop nearby?" I said proactively.

 

The two of them jumped up happily, took my hand, shouted "Sister is so nice", and walked to the small shop.

 

When we arrived at the canteen, things got a little out of hand.

 

They pointed to snacks such as potato chips, crispy wedges, and spicy sticks. I was still maintaining my rationality, "None of these things can be used as lunch. You haven't eaten, so I have to buy you things that can be used as lunch."

 

I pointed to the bread and asked softly, "Is this okay?"

 

They shook their heads and said, "We don't like eating this."

 

In the end, they gave in to the chocolate egg yolk pie at my insistence, but another thing happened. There were 10 small packages of egg yolk pie in one package. I suggested that they split it equally, but they answered confidently.

 

"We are not from the same family, so we must have one bag per person."

 

I smiled and said, "If that's the case, sister can also choose not to buy a bag~"

 

The two of them looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Then I bought them drinks. When checking out, this is also when this matter really hits home.

 

The beautiful little girl said, "Sister, everyone bought me that one last time, and they didn't say it was expensive." She pointed at a big toy on the counter and said innocently.

 

At that moment, something seemed to hit me. I felt that the two children in front of me were doing something wrong, and my good intentions were also doing something wrong. I endured it and told the little girl,

 

"In this world, some people are rich and some are not that rich, but no matter what kind of person they are, when they are willing to buy things for you, you can't distinguish them by whether they are expensive or cheap. Because buying things for you It’s not a matter of course, so you can understand it.”

 

The little girl blinked her big eyes, put her face on my arm, and said with a smile, "Sister, you are so beautifully dressed, how can you still be poor?"

 

It seems that she didn't understand, and I'm stupid too, why should I expect her to understand.

 

Another girl put her head close to my mobile phone payment page and asked me, "Sister, how much money do you have on WeChat?"

 

"I only have 20 yuan on WeChat, but I bought you something worth 17 yuan, and I only have 3 yuan left."

 

They looked in disbelief and complained, "You are lying, how is it possible?"

 

The shop owner couldn't help laughing. But at this moment, I couldn't laugh at all.

 

03

 

After separating from them, I walked back to the hotel from the small shop alone, feeling heavy in my heart.

From the moment they appeared outside the glass, various details flashed through my mind. Looking back on them, I was not sure whether the bright and innocent smile at the beginning was real, and I also wondered whether I had done something wrong. Shouldn't they pay for their little thoughts? Will this lead them into wrong values? After they leave, they will just discuss "This sister is really a poor person. Let's go back next time." Find someone rich."

 

All this makes me extremely uncomfortable.

 

Back at the dinner table, I told Teacher Chang and the others everything about the small shop. Then I saw the Polaroid on the table. In the photo, the little girl was smiling shyly. How could everything that I thought was beautiful just now be so inconsistent? In less than an hour, such a big contrast can be produced.

 

"Even if I reject them at first, to them, it is just an inconspicuous failure among many successful requests." I sighed.

 

"What will happen to them when they grow up?" I continued to ask

 

"They won't be like this when they grow up. One day they will realize it, so when they grow up, they will be like us." Teacher Chang said.

 

I felt a little better after listening to it.

Just like when we were children, we sometimes couldn't tell right from wrong. When I was a child, I also stole change from my parents, melons from the field, and peaches from my neighbors.

But every bad thing I did when I was a child was punished at the time. My parents would tell me that it was wrong. Even if I didn't know it clearly in my heart, I knew I made a mistake.

 

As for them, who allowed them to form this routine step by step? How to find tourists, how to show your pity, how to use your innocence, how to achieve your goals, and finally, how to tie others with a roundhouse kick.

 

Maybe it's because the little girl is so beautiful that I feel so disappointed, or maybe I'm overly concerned and overly sensitive.

After all, if I were them, I could bring food, toys, and maybe even money to my brothers and parents at home by playing some tricks on the tourists swarming on the street while being surrounded by family. When I got home, holding these harvest fruits, my parents touched my head and told me, "I shared the suffering for my family at a young age. I am really a good boy of my mother." This sentence may become my motivation to go out and work hard again and again.

 

I don’t know, until now, the trip has ended, and when I re-recorded this incident, I felt like something was stuck in my heart.

 

If you are reading this article, what do you think? Let me know. Speak up.

 

End of article
Although I took photos of little girls at the beginning, I still didn’t want to reveal what they looked like. Subconsciously I still want to protect them. What can be protected? I have no idea.
At least, as an adult, I know exactly what I shouldn't do, and that's what I'm called an adult.

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