Sichuan and Chongqing|First Anniversary Notes

I went back and forth and revised the draft several times.

I lost another week because of illness

It's almost the end of May.

It was already ten o'clock when I came back. I quickly took out the ingredients from the refrigerator, washed the vegetables, boiled water, marinated the meat, and slowly cut the washed fresh mushrooms into strips. The kitchen knife and the chopping board made a rhythmic sound when they collided. After blanching the pork ribs, I put them in the pot and turned on the low heat again. The range hood buzzed. The pork ribs settled in the pot and slowly absorbed the juice, bubbling. He was not idle either. He sat obediently at the table and chose dishes. After a while, he came in with a plate, put it aside and stayed there without leaving. He was immediately kicked out by me, but he still poked his head in from time to time: "Can you help me?" "No, no, I'm nervous when you're around." After a while, he sneaked in again, hugged his waist from behind, and handed me the phone: "Look , more than twenty likes."

I can't laugh or cry.

Actually today is our first anniversary. In the morning, he opened our little room mysteriously and said that this was another gift he had prepared (last year he applied for a domain name, although he started his internship and didn’t touch it for a long time. I was still thinking about it) When it was completed it was the "Lifetime Series"), but I didn't expect to see it updated.

I remember that not long ago, I casually mentioned that the nest has not been updated for a long time. It was just an unintentional joke at the time, but he remembered it. Before I got together last year, I originally planned to go to Taiwan during the summer vacation, but then I gave up and went to Nanjing together. Some time ago, when we were talking about the future, he told me that we could go to Taiwan by then. He didn't know that I was almost crying again in front of the phone screen, but he didn't expect that the things he mentioned casually would be remembered seriously. In fact, for me now, it is no longer important whether I go to Taiwan or not, and where I go is not that important.

This time, cooking together was a "one-year anniversary plan" that the two of them had discussed two months before they met. Of course, I didn't miss this opportunity to squeeze (treacherous.jpg). I cooked while he cooked noodles and fried eggs. Later, I saw him cracking the eggs into the pan with some unfamiliarity, and just when I was about to sigh, "My daughter has just grown up," he suddenly turned to look at me: "Can it be turned over?"

I:? ? ? ? ?

In the afternoon, I went to his school to see Meow Meow. Meow Meow is the cat they keep together in their dormitory. He likes to sneak out in the middle of the night, and also likes to jump off the building if he disagrees. (The last time he jumped from the seventeenth floor, he was safe and sound, so Meow, who had not had a name for a long time, finally got the name "Seventeen") . I have always relied on photos and videos to attract cats, and today I finally got to meet with meow.

Yesterday when we went to the supermarket together, he even brought a canned cat: "When you meet for the first time, you want Meow Meow to like you." He looks serious like a worried old parent.

He went to the dormitory to smuggle Meow Meow down, while I waited for him at the place where we usually talk on the phone.

Pedestrians were passing each other on the road, and it seemed like it was the first time we met last year. I remember that when I was about to go back, he said he wanted to give me his subway card. After several refusals, he still didn't stop me. Before he could finish his refusal, he ran upstairs. At that time, I was also waiting for him downstairs in the dormitory. The street lamp illuminated a dark area, and the faces of the figures could not be seen clearly. The breeze passing by the temples blew away the heat of early summer. I never thought that fate would turn clouds and rain to where I am today.

Just as I was thinking about it, he came back. Meow Meow was a little bigger than I thought. As soon as he took him out and put him on the ground, he crawled into a small corner in fear. Later, I squatted on the ground and rubbed the cat hiding in the bag, smoothing its fur. Next to him, he quite resented the lack of steel: "I'm usually very naughty, I'm really a coward."

Later, we went to the ice noodle shop we went to last year. After finishing a bowl of ice noodle with him each, we were still clamoring for another bowl. When I remembered that I didn’t dare to act rashly last year, I ate the ice noodle in small bites and ended up with more than half of it left. What a loss (such delicious ice powder!). I went to a Sichuan restaurant an hour before closing time, but was surprised to find it was right next to the B&B where I stayed last year. I used my memory to identify it for a long time and found the little corner where I kissed for the first time last year.

"It must be here. I remember buying a Pulse last year."

"Well, there it is," he pointed to the convenience store opposite.

Chongqing

Go to Chongqing.

It was the first time we rode a high-speed train together, and we leaned on his shoulders along the way. We talked about the summer when we stayed at my grandma’s house, lying on the floor and secretly watching Jin Yong, about the creaky old electric fan, and about the old house that was later rented out. His voice was choked with emotion, so he patted my head gently.

Later, he felt a little sleepy and put his head on my head: "Hey, don't move, this height is just right." His head, which was originally turned to one side, suddenly did not dare to move, and he was so scared that he was really dumbfounded.

The next morning we went to the Mountain City Trail. Many old houses were being renovated and we saw a photography exhibition. Today, when many cities are in a hurry to change their appearance, wishing to erase the traces of the past and then build tall buildings from the ground, Chongqing still has a seemingly old-fashioned and conservative but valuable nostalgia. Tolerate the obsolescence and the cracks in the wall. When you are in a hurry, leave some time to calm down and let the plants climb up the window. Even if, as he said, some houses are turned into shops, commercialization cannot be avoided. Maybe it will be more so in the future, but I feel that Chongqing is more like looking for a balance point, so that people in old Chongqing will not be homeless when they look back, without even any material credentials. Perhaps, the mountain trail that exists as a scenic spot in the eyes of tourists is also a familiar history in the eyes of locals. And the small village where my grandma's house is located is like a hidden gem in the ocean, if people can have such a little patience for it.

Walking slowly with him, we saw several houses. The two of them had a serious discussion and agreed that the future nest could have a small vegetable patch. What I wanted most in life was to be able to go back to my grandma's house when I grew up. Grandma's house is in a remote mountain village. The bus runs every twenty minutes. When you get to the terminal, you have to walk for another ten minutes to get there. Behind the house are bamboo forests and mountains. When you get up in the morning, you can hear the chirping of birds. On summer nights, old people will sit under the big banyan tree, shaking their fans and chatting. At that time, I thought, maybe we can find a small mountain village like this in the future, where we can sleep until we wake up naturally, get up and have breakfast, and then do what we like, and go out for a walk together in the evening. Or, think about nothing and just lie on the balcony and watch the stars. This was my favorite thing to do in the summer evenings when I was a child. Because of the mountain, the summer evenings were not that hot, and even the wind was cool. Grandma would spread the mat on the balcony, and I would lie on the mat with her and listen to her tell stories. When I opened my eyes, I would see the sky full of broken stars. When I was a kid, I still wondered if the stars would fall into my eyes if they were so close.

At four o'clock in the morning, I woke up with the feeling of vomiting. I struggled to get up from the bed. My stomach was churning. I held my stomach and vomited. Later, my stomach couldn't help but twitch, and my whole body felt weak and weak. I thought it would be fine after I vomited, so I went to the movies with him hoping it would be a lucky break. But the feeling of not wanting to vomit is lingering, I can't concentrate on watching the movie, I feel cold for no reason, goosebumps appear on my skin, I hold my arms with my hands to no avail, my brain seems to be slowly being mixed into a ball of paste. I feel so uncomfortable that I want to knock my brains out.

After the movie, we went to the clinic together and took our temperature and found out that we had a fever.

Two days ago, we were talking about injections in childhood. I told him that when he was a kid, he was afraid of the injections in the buttocks. He would run away very fast every time, but he would be caught every time. In the end, this guy actually told the doctor that the injections in the buttocks would be fine if he didn't get spanked. (He was beaten violently by me), and finally he was prescribed medicine and went back.

On the way back, when I saw "Lanzhou Ramen", "Shaxian Snacks" and "XX Hot Pot", I couldn't help but think that food can cause physical nausea. I never imagined that one day I would become disgusted with food. After sleeping all afternoon, my original plan to go to Nan'an District in the afternoon and eat hot pot in the evening was cancelled. He was delirious, and every logical sentence was burned and melted into the mushy brain, and every pore was open and steaming. I didn't want to talk, I didn't have the strength to stick to the bed like a puddle of mud, I thought it would be better if I was knocked unconscious, and I wanted to vomit, but there was nothing left in my stomach to vomit.

He bought porridge, managed to swallow a few mouthfuls, and then felt like vomiting. He retreated into bed and lay down. The room was dim and his mind was groggy. When he woke up again, it was already dark, and his brain hurt. Everything lost its clear outline and became a blur. He went out and bought a thermometer, but even after taking medicine, the temperature rose to 38.5 degrees Celsius. He was feeling hot and cold at times. He couldn't change his clothes and went to the clinic. One foot was deep and the other was shallow. He felt that the ground was soft and sagging with every step he took. The wind made him feel hot and cold. The clinic had closed at ten o'clock in the evening. It almost hung on his body and slowly swayed back. He lay wrapped up on the bed. Like a fat insect. He went to wet a towel and put it on his forehead, boiled hot water and soaked it in medicine, and chatted with me next to me. In the middle of the night, his body temperature finally dropped, and his pajamas were soaked with sweat from the fever.

It was the first time I went out to get sick, and it was also the first time he was there when I got sick. I'm ashamed to say that I was so uncomfortable at that time, my brain turned into a puddle of mud, and I was very cruel to him, but he didn't get angry. I feel lucky that it's him, he doesn't have to spend any effort to explain when I don't have the energy, he can understand.

Later on the day I went back, I looked back at him after checking in, and saw a girl next to me who was checking in and running towards the ticket gate, kissing her boyfriend through the guardrail. In fact, I don't know how much I wanted to go back and hug him, but I didn't. Afraid of being seen crying, she later turned around and left. In fact, it is not necessary to meet each other. The days when we do not meet are not so difficult, and there is also a different kind of happiness.

Just happier to see each other.

This year

It’s not that I haven’t had any quarrels, there were also times when my eyes were red and I was suffering from insomnia. I even talked to him about whether I wanted to separate for a while. Fortunately, even if they quarreled, the bottom line was not broken. Ever since I was a child, I have always been a person who doesn't like to quarrel or is even afraid of quarrels. I feel that being aggressive is not good and I am afraid that we will break up if we quarrel. Whenever there is a conflict, he ignores others and just wants to be alone (he says he is like a snail?????), so every time I quarrel with him, I will have a cold war. When I first had an argument, I ignored him for a day, but now that I have gotten along with him, I want to talk to him to clarify the conflict within an hour after the argument. I can't bear it until the next day, and I will not give up until I clarify it. . This habit affects other corners of life, and now it is rare to be dominated by negative emotions for several days. After the cold war, we felt more like we had lost something and found something again. It seemed that it was because of the quarrel that we were once again shocked to realize the weight of our rivalry in each other's lives.

The quarrel becomes an opportunity for communication. In the process of the quarrel, you gradually believe that the relationship itself has the power, and the relationship is repaired again and again, like the bark of a tree that has become stronger after being injured.

There have been constant quarrels for a while. Men and women think very differently, and they often find each other unreasonable. I don’t know whether he is too rational or indifferent. He doesn’t understand why I have been stuck in sudden sadness for so long. Fortunately, later I saw the sincerity behind the "poor expression", and then I realized the depth behind the concise and concise words.

What is love? A few years ago, I could have directly given the answer, but now I hesitate and dare not speak. To this day, I may still not understand what love is. I can only say that I feel that love is A comfortable balance point is The tenderness and beauty left for each other are the scars of the past that only they know about.

When he was a child, he was asked to be sensible and restrained, and most of the time he acted as an obedient and quiet child. He said that he could be willful here. Not daring to act rashly, he tried several times. But slowly I found something that I missed before and thought I couldn't make up for it. I'm very happy that when we get along with each other, we don't have to worry about any rules and regulations. It's so natural that it's like getting along with another person.

What I want to say to him most is probably thank you. Thank you for holding me up when I was at my worst, thank you for your tolerance and understanding, and thank you for your bright and warm love.

I still love you to this day as much as I did the first day, or even more. This year I am more appreciative and more determined. In the next year, or in the days to come, I hope I can give you a more comfortable love. I hope you can be a child with me.

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